Dating is a weird thing. To some guys it comes naturally, and it becomes a part of these guys lifestyles. To others the process of dating is totally overwhelming, so these guys never even try.
I recently went through a break up and decided that I needed to make sure my dating skills were in a good place to put myself out there. So I started crushing books about dating and self-improvement, both on my Kindle and in audiobook format.
These books have completely opened my eyes to a lot of parts of dating/relationships that I was completely ignorant to. Even if you’re in a relationship, I think these books can still give you tools for effectively communicating with your partner and strengthening your relationship.
The Top Dating Books for Men in 2022
1. The Rational Male by Rollo Tomassi
The Rational Male is a rational and pragmatic approach to intergender dynamics and the social and psychological underpinnings of intergender relations. The book is the compiled, 10-year core writing of author/blogger Rollo Tomassi from TheRationalMale.com.
Rollo Tomassi is one of the leading voices in the globally growing, male-focused online consortium known as the “Manosphere”. Outlined are the concepts of positive masculinity, the feminine imperative, plate theory, operative social conventions, and the core psychological theory behind game awareness and “red pill” ideology. Tomassi explains and outlines the principles of intergender social dynamics and foundational reasoning behind them.
2. Models by Mark Manson
Models is the first book ever written on seduction as an emotional process rather than a logical one, a process of connecting with women rather than impressing them. It’s the most mature and honest guide on how a man can attract women without faking behavior, without lying and without emulating others. A game-changer. Inside, you’ll learn:
- The root behavior that causes all female attraction.
- Why typical dating advice and pick up theory is counter-productive in the long-run.
- How to overcome nervousness and anxiety around attractive women.
- How any man can make himself appear attractive with a little time and effort.
- The three keys to keeping conversations with women interesting and engaging.
- How to discover the beliefs and attitudes that are sabotaging your success with women.
- How to develop a genuine and joyful sense of humor.
3. No More Mr. Nice Guy: A Proven Plan for Getting What You Want in Love, Sex, and Life by Dr. Robert A. Glover
A Nice Guy, according to Dr. Robert Glover, a pioneering expert on the Nice Guy Syndrome, is a man who believes he is not okay just as he is. He is convinced that he must become what he thinks others want him to be liked, loved, and get his needs met. He also believes that he must hide anything about himself that might trigger a negative response in others.
The Nice Guy Syndrome typically begins in infancy and childhood when a young boy inaccurately internalizes emotional messages about himself and the world. It is fueled by toxic shame and anxiety. Rapid social change in the late 20th century and early 21st century has contributed to a worldwide explosion of men struggling to find happiness, love, and purpose.
The paradigm of the Nice Guy Syndrome is driven by three faulty covert contracts. Nice Guys believe:
- If I am good, then I will be liked and loved.
- If I meet other people’s needs without them having to ask, then they will meet my needs without me having to ask.
- If I do everything right, then I will have a smooth, problem-free life.
4. The Unplugged Alpha: The No Bullsh*t Guide to Winning with Women & Life by Richard Cooper
Men have been conditioned to be the quintessential “nice guy”. They’re trained to be overly humble, kind to a fault, and that just “being themselves” is enough to attract and keep the woman of their dreams. Men are told to believe that conventional masculinity is toxic and to put women ahead of their own interests, passions, and purpose.
This has led to an entire generation of men forming very unhealthy attachments to women that they, unfortunately, often make their sole focus of their lives.
The playbook to women and life has changed, but most men missed the memo.
Do you want to succeed and level up in every area of your life?
If so, then this book explains:
- The importance of maximizing your looks, money, social status, and game.
- Why it’s essential to get genuine burning desire from a woman who wants to date you.
- The top 20 red flags that you must vet women for a long term relationship.
- How to become one of the top 20% of men that women swipe right for on online dating.
- Why smart men avoid marriage. And much more.
This book exposes the comforting lies you’ve been told throughout your life for what they really are, enabling you to become a truly authentic alpha who chases excellence and leads a successful passion-filled life.
5. Art of Seduction by Robert Greene
Robert Greene’s previous best seller, The 48 Laws of Power, distilled 3,000 years of scheming into a guide People praised as “beguiling… literate… fascinating” and Kirkus denounced as “an anti-Book of Virtues.”
In Art of Seduction, Greene returns with a new instruction audiobook on the most subtle, elusive, and effective form of power because seduction isn’t really about sex. It’s about manipulating other people’s greatest weakness: their desire for pleasure.
Synthesizing the work of thinkers including Freud, Diderot, Nietzsche, and Einstein, reporting the enticing strategies of characters throughout history, The Art of Seduction is a comprehensive guide to getting what we want any way we can.
6. The Dating Playbook for Men: A Proven 7 Step System to Go from Single to the Woman of Your Dreams by Andrew Ferebee
This is a straight to the point, no b.s. guide to dating the women you want and living the life you deserve.
No games. No rah rah motivation. No weird seduction tactics. Just raw, actionable content designed to turn you into the strongest version of yourself and equip you with the mindsets and social skills required to level up your life, and achieve the romantic success for which you’ve always strived.
Here is a taste of what you’ll learn:
- The 11 mental models you must adopt to transform yourself from the inside out and develop the skills you need to master your romantic life.
- Why 93% of the most common dating advice you hear is dead wrong, and the TRUTH about what women actually respond to.
- A simple three-hour a week strategy to find, meet, attract, and date the women you most desire so you NEVER have to settle into a relationship out of scarcity again.
- The EXACT conversational strategies that will help you capture any woman’s attention and spark instant attraction – even IF you’re not attractive, ripped, rich, or famous.
- Proven steps and tactics to escalate your interactions, create sexual tension, and build an abundant dating life where high quality women are chasing you.
- The number one mistake 97% of men make that leads to toxic relationships (and the exact steps you must take to avoid it).
- A proven 90-day game plan that will show you EXACTLY how to go from single, frustrated, and alone to dating an abundance of women or the ONE woman you’ve always desired.
Enjoy the journey of a lifetime.
7. The Way of the Superior Man: A Spiritual Guide to Mastering the Challenges of Women, Work, and Sexual Desire by David Deida
In the decades since the initial publication of The Way of the Superior Man, society has changed significantly. Issues of gender and sexuality long confined to secrecy have become part of everyday conversation, and rigid ideas about our societal roles have begun to dissolve.
And yet, perhaps now more than at any time, men of all ages still “tussle with the challenges of women, work, and sexual desire.” In this unabridged audiobook of the classic guide to masculine spirituality, David Deida encourages men and women to lean into the conversation and offer their most valuable assets to the world – their authentic heart and depth of presence.
More relevant than ever, The Way of the Superior Man offers a view of a more conscious and embodied masculinity. “It is time to evolve beyond the macho jerk ideal, all spine and no heart”, writes Deida. “It is also time to evolve beyond the sensitive and caring wimp ideal, all heart and no spine.”
Including a new preface written in celebration of the book’s 20th anniversary, The Way of the Superior Man presents the next generation of with the opportunity to grapple with fear, cultivate trust in the moment, and put forth the best versions of themselves in an ever-changing world.
8. The Way of Men by Jack Donovan
What is masculinity? Ask 10 men, and you’ll get ten vague, conflicting answers. Unlike any book of its kind, The Way of Men offers a simple, straightforward answer – without getting bogged down in religion, morality, or politics. It’s a guide for understanding who men have been and the challenges men face today.
The Way of Men captures the silent, stifling rage of men everywhere who find themselves at odds with the overregulated, overcivilized, politically correct modern world. If you’ve ever closed your eyes and wished for one day as a lion, this book is for you.
9. The Evolution of Desire: Strategies of Human Mating by David M. Buss
If we all want love, why is there so much conflict in our most cherished relationships? To answer this question we must look into our evolutionary past, argues prominent psychologist David M. Buss. Based one of the largest studies of human mating ever undertaken, encompassing more than 10,000 people of all ages from 37 cultures worldwide, The Evolution of Desire is the first work to present a unified theory of human mating behavior.
Drawing on a wide range of examples of mating behavior – from lovebugs to elephant seals, from the Yanomamö tribe of Venezuela to online dating apps – Buss reveals what women want, what men want, and why their desires radically differ. Love has a central place in human sexual psychology, but conflict, competition, and manipulation also pervade human mating – something we must confront in order to control our own mating destiny.
Fully revised and updated to reflect the very latest scientific research on human mating, this classic work of evolutionary psychology explains the powerful forces that shape our most intimate desires.
10. Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence by Esther Perel
When you love someone, how does it feel? And when you desire someone, how is it different? In Mating in Captivity, Esther Perel looks at the story of sex in committed couples.
Modern romance promises it all – a lifetime of togetherness, intimacy and erotic desire. In reality, it’s hard to want what you already have. Our quest for secure love conflicts with our pursuit of passion. And often, the very thing that got us to into our relationships – lust – is the one thing that goes missing from them.
Determined to reconcile the erotic and the domestic, Perel explains why democracy is a passion killer in the bedroom; argues for playfulness, distance and uncertainty; and shows what it takes to bring lust home.
Smart, sexy and explosively original, Mating in Captivity is the monogamist’s essential bedtime listen.
11. Mate: Become the Man Women Want by Tucker Max and Geoffrey Miller
The number-one best-selling pioneer of “fratire” and a leading evolutionary psychologist team up to create the dating book for guys.
Whether they conducted their research in life or in the lab, experts Tucker Max and Dr. Geoffrey Miller have spent the last 20-plus years learning what women really want from their men, why they want it, and how men can deliver those qualities.
The short answer: Become the best version of yourself possible, then show it off. It sounds simple, but it’s not. If it were, Tinder would just be the stuff you use to start a fire. Becoming your best self requires honesty, self-awareness, hard work, and a little help.
Through their website and podcasts, Max and Miller have already helped over one million guys take their first steps toward Miss Right. They have collected all of their findings in Mate, an evidence-driven, seriously funny playbook that will teach you to become a more sexually attractive and romantically successful man, the right way:
- No “seduction techniques”
- No moralizing
- No bullshit
Just honest, straightforward talk about the most ethical, effective way to pursue the win-win relationships you want with the women who are best for you.
Much of what they’ve discovered will surprise you, some of it will not, but all of it is important and often misunderstood. So listen up, and stop being stupid!